Everything

I will try to remember a few pearlers to put in. Not a day goes by when somebody hasn't said or done something completely ridiculous.
I think it was on a Sunday morning I was in the shop on my own while George had gone to do something, I was serving Veronica while I had another guy waiting, when Colin decided to make an entrance. He tripped on the step then missed the window trying to catch himself on the way down and went a over t in his olive green track suit and masseurs (shoes).
Trying to refrain myself from laughing out loud we all asked if he was alright, after Veronica let out a little squeal, he made quite a noise going down and I think he frightened her a little. Once she was satisfied he was OK she left and so did the other gentleman (who hardly ever speaks and when he does it so soft and mumbled you have to listen very carefully).
Colin collected his paper and said something about dropping by, I made a bit of a joke about making a new meaning of dropping in!
I was secretly trying to lighten the whole situation as this guy is a complete wanker and I wouldn't have been surprised if I'd been served with a law suit later in the week, luckily so far nothing has come of it, even though he tripped over himself I wouldn't put it past him to pull a stunt. It was very funny, it made my day, and even still makes me chuckle to myself when I think about it.
Sid aka Shitcan, the Pakistani man who owns the supermarket is a real piece of work, today he had the hide to tell me that I should tell my husband to be more friendly. Shitcan has never stepped one foot inside our shop, he has never bought anything from us, even through his lakies, yesterday he sent someone down to purchase a mobile phone for one of the workers he has caring for his wife. The stupid girl had come in the day before and was giving George a hard time, she couldn't buy $10 worth of credit for her phone, because it physically isn't possible, so she buys a $30 SIM card instead, how this makes sense is beyond me, but that's what she wanted so that's what George sold to her.
Later that evening Charmaine, one of Shitcans employees comes down with the little book that comes with the new SIM card, which explains step by step what to do to activate your SIM card, "oh George can you help us, we don't know what to do."
George opens the book and shows her that it is all written out, she felt a bit stupid. George was a bit impatient with her due to the headache that he had been given from the girl earlier on.
Then they came in the next day to buy a mobile phone but first they wanted to know what kinds of phones we sold and if they would work here in Dellaren, I am shocked at how many times we are asked this question, why the hell would we sell phones that don't work!
I explained what we had so she could go back and tell them, so they could tell her what to come back and buy, extremely stupid, if you want something just come and get it yourself!
So later on Shitcan sends down Kathy Puke and she waffles on with all the bullshit in world, she is rude to us but thinks she is sweet as pie, so George is rude to her, she is a piece of shit, so I don't mind, she always comes in and accuses us of stealing their magazines, she works for Shitcan who a few years ago decided to go up against Georges parents and sell magazines, sometimes the magazines go missing in transit, it happens to us all the time, she thinks we steal them off the delivery truck and hide them, childish.
She buys the phone and takes it back, then when I go into Shitcans to buy something today, he says that to me, George has to do all he can to refrain himself from going down there giving him a piece of his mind and punching him in the face.
Then when i get to the doctors surgery I have to take his wife's blood pressure and she asks me how business is to which I coldly reply that it is fine, when I really want to yell at her none of you f*ing business!
It constantly amazes me how rude these people are and how they have absolutely no concept of what is appropriate.

Lesbians

A patient came into the surgery today, while I was taking her blood pressure she proceeded to tell me that she had been sitting at home watching Oprah. I just smiled and thought to myself how interesting her life is, this patient a few months ago was very upset about having an appointment late in the afternoon because she would miss her TV show, Deal or No Deal.
She continued to say that toady's topic on Oprah was about a Lesbian! She paused after saying this word as it must be very foreign to her, continuing on she said that this woman had just broken up with her partner of six years, then she looked at the time and it was 1:30 and she though "oh I better get up to the doctors" she was so engrossed that she nearly missed her appointment! Small towns, small minds.